UNDER THE STONE

WHEN YOU LOOK AT ME, YOU MAY SEE A GUY WHO IS VERY CALM AND QUIET.  A GUY WHO KEEPS HIS EMOTIONS UNDER CONTROL AND RARELY LETS THEM SHOW.  THE STONY EXTERIOR OF AN UNMOVABLE MOUNTAIN.  BUT IF YOU REALLY KNEW ME, YOU WOULD NEVER TAKE ME TO SEE A SAD MOVIE.  I'M THE BIG GUY WHO BURSTS INTO TEARS.  YOU WOULD KNOW I'M THE GUY WHO GETS FIGHTING MAD WHEN HANDICAPPED OR SPECIAL-NEEDS PEOPLE GET PICKED ON.  I'M THE GUY WHO BUYS HIS WIFE ROSES FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON AT ALL.  IF YOU REALLY KNEW ME, YOU WOULD SEE THE SHAME AND GUILT I FEEL AT THE MERE MENTION OF ALCOHOL.  YOU WOULD KNOW HOW BRUISED AND BROKEN I AM FROM BEATING MYSELF UP.  YOU MIGHT EVEN BE ABLE TO HEAR THE HURTFUL WORDS I HAVE UNLEASHED IN A FIT OF DRUNKEN ANGER AND REALIZED TOO LATE THAT I COULD NOT TAKE THEM BACK.  IF YOU REALLY KNEW ME, YOU COULD FEEL THE LOVE I SO GENEROUSLY GIVE TO MY FAMILY WHEN I AM SOBER.  YOU WOULD SEE HOW COURTEOUS AND HELPFUL I CAN BE TO PEOPLE IN NEED.  I WAS HAPPY ONCE, AND I SO DESPERATELY WANT TO BE HAPPY AGAIN.  BUT YOU WOULD KNOW THAT...IF YOU REALLY KNEW ME.